


Huge Ass Crow

by Bad_Mimikyu



Category: POE Edgar Allan - Works, The Raven - Edgar Allan Poe
Genre: F/M, Gen, Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe, Modern Era, Prose Poem, Rating: PG13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-12 23:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bad_Mimikyu/pseuds/Bad_Mimikyu
Summary: Modern take of The Raven





	Huge Ass Crow

Once while staying up real late, reading a book, I began to wait  
For it to make some lick of sense, the words blurred and I felt dense  
My eyes fluttered, falling asleep covered in my blanket heap  
The chairs warmth I wished to keep but at the charger, beep went my phone  
"Probably a text," I grumbled, "that causes beep from my phone.  
I wish they would leave me alone."

Though my memory has some decay, I remember that snowy day  
Netflix had ceased to play so through the wall, I heard a moan  
This dorms walls are very thin, not wanting to hear the action  
I told a movie to begin and mourned for my lack of bone  
My beautiful girlfriend broke my heart and left me here without a bone  
How I hate that I'm alone.

There was a ringing across my room filling me with thoughts of doom  
At the sound staring, it was scaring with it’s loud, melodic tone  
Glancing to the corner with my charger, the new tone was growing larger  
From the opposite direction, seeing nothing, my mind was blown  
Leaving the chair, I went over, finding nothing, my mind was blown  
Thinking perhaps, I’m not alone

Of scary movies, I’d had my fill. Off went Netflix, my room was still  
Nervous laughter, jumping to conclusions I am prone  
But the fact there was a cheep, an alert of a possible creep  
And so freaked out from that beep, beep of that other phone  
I looked under the bed for the blink or notice of the phone  
Finding nothing, I am alone

Sitting on the light bed spread, I try to grip reality instead  
Playful and pranky, praying it could be my ex-girlfriend Joan  
Since it was her I sorely missed and her lips that I once kissed  
Glancing at the pics and snaps’ on the screen of my now charged phone  
I sighed aloud seeing her status, she’s taken, says my damn phone  
Now I feel even more alone

Scrolling past her on Facebook, for a new girl I start to look  
I thumb an update and hear that beep, but I Liked from my timezone  
I wonder what on earth that is, that chirping of a ‘Liked’ status  
Once I clicked, how could I not notice the activation of that tone?  
It was not mine and again I thought twice of the ring of that tone  
Could it be I’m not alone?

 

Jumping from the bed in fright, I run frantic to the switch for light  
In the window glared an eye, the active bulb made it shone  
Calling out a manly shriek, my lungs are large, the sound not weak  
Opening its mighty beak, there was a bird that sounded like a phone  
Sighing loudly for it was only a bird that sounded like a phone  
Indeed, I’m not really alone

Opening the window to say hi, the black bird flew up to the sky  
Watching it flap, I saw it’s size, the biggest bird I’ve ever known  
Just as I thought that it would go, it turned back to my window though  
“That is one huge ass crow!” I cried, hiding from this living drone  
It flew inside and to the floor I went with a groan.  
Why didn’t I leave it alone?

Sitting on my desk and blinking, the bird looked as though thinking  
It’s caw a notification alert not much unlike my own  
Not a ghost as I had feared, though it’s sound was just as weird,  
At me this damn bird peered and made the sound of that other phone  
I knew with mimicry they’re gifted, making it speak as that other phone  
And I had thought I was alone

Wondering what I should do, seeing the clock was long past 2  
It made that noise aloud again and I wondered if I had a stone  
Searching my very empty floor, finding crumbs and nothing more  
I sighed for just an apple core or anything I might have thrown  
Measuring my enemy, I realized there was much too unknown  
How to get him since I’m alone?

Trilling loudly, that squawk phone matching, I needed a plan for catching  
I’m no pussy, I would prove it to that great bitch Joan  
Though a ball I could not hurl and not as muscled as her friend Earl  
She had called me a girl when I def have testosterone  
Judging from her laughter, she did not think I have testosterone  
She’s the one who should be alone.

Having opened the window to say hi and the bird not flying to the sky  
With all this and her in my mind, I sank deep in my depressive zone  
Sinking deep beneath the wave, I can’t find how to be brave  
To get this damn thing off my desk, how I hate I’m on my own  
I sigh in longing for her beauty, body, booty that I miss and wish to bone  
I can’t believe I’m all alone

 

My heart and head are filled with doubt but I have no time to pout  
Sir Huge Ass Crow wants my soul, wants me to atone  
I grab a blanket I have spare and hope the beast I can ensnare  
Then I take great care in throwing the blanket my mom had sewn  
When I tell this story to her, I won’t mention it was the one she had sewn  
Hoping she’ll leave it alone

Looking for the devil spawn, from my desk, the thing was gone!  
Cheering that it did not shit upon my desk, it is on loan.  
Hearing that sound again behind me, I glanced around to see  
That huge ass crow, OMG! It’s clawing at my headphone!  
Those are Skull Candy you damn bid! Give me my headphone!  
I should have left this thing alone!

Wrestling for my possession, I began a long confession.  
“Is this because I wanted her? Your big beak sounds just like her tone.  
That melodic stupid pinging, I wanted it to be her phone binging.  
I’d be a hero for bringing back to her a long lost phone.  
This must be punishment for hoping it was a lost phone.  
Do I deserve to be alone?”

“You fucking bird, you little shit. I hope you die in a fiery pit  
Get out of my room and fucking drop my headphone!!  
Maybe you think this is a game, maybe that is why you came  
But you are wild and not tame so get out you living drone!”  
Staring, mocking, glaring, un stopping, I’m the prey of the drone  
I wish it would leave me alone

Deciding to be a better man, I switch up my current plan.  
“Please go away you huge ass crow and take the headphone.  
If I was allowed some kind of pet then, sure, you’d be set  
But I’m not so you have to get. Besides you sound like a ringtone.  
I’m pretty sure you’re the worst roommate ever known.  
Now can I be alone?”

Though hearing no, the huge ass crow refused to go  
On my dresser it remains and pecks my headphone.  
He’s even now still there, giving me an evil glare  
I try not to care and ignore his caw that’s like a phone  
He’s now a reminder of my personal Hell with my ex Joan  
Now I’ll be forever alone.


End file.
